New "Zombie" Like Disease Spreading Across North America

Funny story written by Dan Cun

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

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Surely Not?

The American CDC (Center for Disease Control) and Homeland Security have issued "cautionary" warnings regarding a new blood borne virus that may have infected a "minute" number of people across pockets of the United States.

Symptoms of the virus include a hunger for raw meat, increased strength and energy, resilience to pain and a "zombie" like zoning out.

So far 8 cases have been reported in Florida, 5 in Maryland, 4 in California, 1 in Texas and 1 in Canada.

"There is no need for panic" said a Homeland Security spokesman "This disease has we are sure been contained and any link to events in Miami are purely speculative and have not been proven. We assure the public that there is nothing to worry about."

However some are questioning if there was no danger or fear of a spread of an undiagnosed virus why both the CDC and Homeland Security would make announcements.

John Keegan, a reporter for the Sun Sentinel newspaper in Colorado wrote on his blog "Are we going to just sit here and ignore the fact that there is virus spreading that turns otherwise normal human beings into crazed cannibals? Is it a coincidence that 21 Dec 2012 is approaching? Is it just me, or does no one else see that there is a epidemic coming, that is spreading and that mankind is about to be eradicated?"

I attempted to contact Keegan for comment however he has not seen for three days, colleagues in Colorado told me he had been last seen Friday claiming he was being followed and spied on by "The Government".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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