Written by IainB

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

image for November 25th will happen

Leading Scientology proponent Tom Cruise (46) came out with a remarkable prediction today.

"They day after November 24 will be November 25," Cruise said to the press outside his Beverly Hills mansion. "The Prophecy decrees it such."

When asked what will happen on November 12th, Cruise was more vague. "I'd imagine, as it is a Tuesday, I'll send my personal assistant shopping, lounge by the pool and read a couple of scripts I've been sent. Much like a Monday, actually. And a Wednesday."

When pressed about the prophecy, Cruise became more animated. "I received a folder from L Ron Hubbard himself; it arrived yesterday from his solicitors, and in it was a sheet of paper. On that mystical paper was one word at the top: November. In red. A whole series of numbers followed, starting at one and ending at thirty. The number 25 was circled in red. I rang the Scientology chapter house, and they said that it was a prophecy."

Speculation now surrounds what will happen on November 25th or 25/11 as the Scientology movement is calling it.

Jason Lee (38), another Scientology adherent was asked what it might mean. "It might be the end of the world, man. I'll certainly be partying on that date, just in case. But then, I'd probably have been partying on that date anyway, 'cos it's like a Thursday, or something."

It was pointed out that a lot of end of the world predictions have been made, and none have been right. "It only needs one to be right, man." Lee replied. "I party on them all; just in case you know."

John Travolta (54), who also gives large sums of money to L Ron Hubbard's made up religion, had this to say: "It'd better not be the end of the world, cos I've not seen High School musical 3 yet."

Hubbard was contacted through celebrity medium Mystic Meg, and he had this to say: "Is my dry cleaning ready yet?"

Adherents are now mulling over this eerie message.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
47 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more