"Zombie" Virus Could Have Come From Nigeria

Funny story written by Dan Cun

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

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If You Or A Loved One Recently Arrived From Nigeria Please Report To The Nearest Isolation Unit - CDC/Homeland Security

The American CDC (Center for Disease Control) and Homeland Security are denying unconfirmed reports that the so called "Zombie" virus that has now affected well over 300 people in North America may have originated in Nigeria and that a Nigerian national, who arrived in Miami three weeks ago, is now under armed guard and in quarantine at an undisclosed location in Colorado.

Meanwhile reporter and blogger John Keegan, who broke the "Zombie" plague story two weeks ago, as reported here, remains missing and family and friends are becoming more concerned for the Sun Sentinel journalist after a box of files and papers, relating to his story, was unearthed by his brother at a storage unit in Denver.

Steven Keegan, who has reported his brother as a missing person said "It is obvious John was on to something. The paper trail I dug up leads to Africa, John is claiming that a commercial aircraft from Nigeria may have carried cargo that contained the virus. A passenger from that plane it seems was infected, who then flew to Miami, and it now seems the first victim of the virus may have encountered this man in Miami."

Authorities in Lagos are vehemently denying unconfirmed reports that the recent air crash in Nigeria was a result of a member of the flight crew "foaming at the mouth, attacking passengers and distracting the pilot."

Symptoms of the virus include a hunger for raw meat, increased strength and energy, resilience to pain and a "zombie" like zoning out.

Meanwhile Homeland Security reaffirmed yesterdays message "There is no need for panic - this disease has we are sure been contained and any link to events in Miami and now Nigeria are purely speculative and have not been proven. We assure the public that there is nothing to worry about. However, as a precautionary method, we are asking anyone recently arriving to these shores from Africa, specifically Nigeria, to contact the CDC, their local physician or in the case of visitors the nearest military base that contains an isolation unit. Anyone having any physical contact with any such person should also do the same."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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