Hundreds of Millions of people around the globe have a new modern illness called Diminished Intellectual Capacity and Knowledge Starvation or DICKS for short. Tweetism, however seems to be the popular handle for the newly named illness, and as the na...
Everytown, U.S.A - Coke heads, crack heads, pill freaks and heroin junkies have all banded together in support of freeing their beloved El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord, from prison, by opening a Kick-Starter page. "Our goal is to raise enough mone...
In the past, conservatives successfully pushed Congress to prohibit federal dollars from being used to distribute sterile syringes to intravenous drug users. Now, with a severe outbreak of H.I.V. and hepatitis due to a surge in heroin use in states...
Health Scotland, Police Scotland and Mars Confectionery issued a joint warning to Scotland's parents and teenagers last night as fears grow around a new substance abuse crisis sweeping large areas of the central belt in Scotland. Teens and pasty face...
A Chicago-area teenage girl, who, according to her parents, hasn't put down her smartphone in 4 years, recently put her device down and picked up a book. "I was shocked," said the girl's father, Neil Withers, about the seeing his daughter with a...
A new research study out today shows that the nations poor, as defined by poverty rates, are smoking more crack than ever now that legal pot prices are souring! "I can't even afford a roach now" said 22 year old stoner Cody Nevins. "Crack is by far t...
Life begins when the alarm of my fully charged cell phone shouts, "Hit snooze, hit snooze! Just five more minutes. Sleeping five more minutes won't hurt anyone. Trust me, I'll wake you up again." Five minutes later, my cell phone, Ringo, screams, "It's time, time to open your eyes and do something productive. Get up, get dressed, get ready now!" Ringo is my best friend. He reminds me to do t...
It's that time of year when companies ask their employees to sign up for another year of benefits like healthcare and dental care. As the GOP has been discussing, it is easy for Americans to become addicted to "the sugar" of healthcare. Most empl...
BREAKING BAD aired its final episode over the weekend, leaving many fans, desperate, alone, and distraught. Outreach programs are being set up throughout the nation to ease woes. "We see this as a time to really put our best foot forward and he...
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA - "It's not like I don't do quality work," states Dr. Ernest Spunn, "I have been making my living on quality AND quantity. I have been moving through people in sheer volume, especially when I'm tweaking! Root canals, extractions,...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Justin Bieber appeared on The Viagra View and he revealed to co-hosts Larry King and Regis Philbin that he has a rather strange fetish. The 19-year-old said that he has never told anyone but he has a strong addiction to Chinese f...
LOS ANGELES - Former boxing champion Oscar De La Hoya has announced that he will be entering The Henry & Betty Ford Clinic. The boxer who won world titles in six different weight classes told Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that...
The Easter bunnies are hopping already for a Northumberland woman, while for the rest of us, the Autumn leaves are only just starting to twirl their way to the ground. Edna Ballcock, 97, of Holy Island, has been having problems with her timing eve...
TAMPA, Fl. - The Florida couple who came clean this week about their addiction to coffee enemas has released a short list of the highly anticipated names of coffee blends that they shoot into their colons via anus up to four times a day. Wife Tamm...
J.K.Rowling has issued a writ for libel against Paris Match, France's most renowned popular magazine. At a hastily convened press conference her chief Public Relations officer Andrew McTaggart told reporters: "Eeeh,... averybiddy knows that this...
It has been announced that Facebook use has reached one billion, with experts warning as much as three quarters of that figure may be dependant abusers, raising fresh concern about the ongoing pandemic. Facebook use emerged in 2003 with the first...
Bartholomew Utterswaithe (65), a former Street Gas Lamp Wick-trimmer, lighter, and extinguisher from Nottingham, is the first person to be officially graded/classified as a 'Binge Spoofer' by the NHS. We visited Mr Utterswaithe's GP, a very pretty...
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