Detroit MI: The Detroit Automotive Digest published the following letter from GM's new CEO that was sent to all GM employees. The letter fills in some key elements leading up to the government bailout and bankruptcy of the giant automaker. OFFICE OF THE GENERAL MOTORS CORPORATION CEO 31 March 2009 TO: GM Management, Labor Unions, an...
Baltimore MD: The Baltimore City Council, by a vote of 13 to 1, today banned ugly looking garbage in the city. Severe fines will be levied on those residents who leave unsightly garbage strewn around their property. However, the council allowed plast...
Washington DC: After last week's presidential press conference, President Obama's aides noted that his feathers had been ruffled by some of the CNN and Fox news reporter's questions. The president's chief of staff suggested "your skin is too thin...
Washington DC: In keeping with President Obama's campaign promise to reduce government waste the USPS will now be operated by private enterprise, namely FEDEX Corporation. The president has been very supportive of competition between potential co...
Washington DC: President Obama's latest press conference did not address reductions in Federal entitlement programs such as Social Security and Medicare. This omission was rectified a few hours later when the president's press secretary issued a stat...
Norfolk VA: Police were called to the PETA world headquarters today when a neighbor reported strange noises outside the building around dusk. When the police arrived, they found a totally empty building devoid of anything but a tank of sea kittens...
Cheyenne Wyoming: Governors from several western states convened here to organize the first annual joint sportsmen and environmentalist wolf hunt. Environmentalists from the various major "Earth Mother" organizations have been invited to join the hun...
Washington DC: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) will be getting a new boss, once Congress approves his nomination. There is a real serious issue that needs to be dealt with following the resolution of the tainted peanut butter, foreign food lab...
London UK: Alfred Doolittle retired today from his long time facility maintenance and janitorial job at Sliedley Insurance Underwriters of London. "Alfie" as he is known had been with this insurance giant for 25 years. At his retirement party Alf...
Newcastle AU: The Journal of the Australian Medical Society (JAMS) has reported that a 45 year old women living in Lightning Ridge New South Wales (NSW) underwent surgery to remove a rather unique Kidney stone. Adelaide Jenkins was rushed the 700...
Toledo OH: Joanne Viden CEO of Mad Mart Inc (MMI), one of the largest supermarket chains in North America, made a startling announcement today. She said "MMI, as its patriot duty, is going to implement a limited version of President Obama's Wealth Re...
Baltimore MD: The Baltimore City Council had considered a resolution to ban the use of plastic supermarket bags. Activists had proposed substitutes, such as paper bags, reusing existing bags or a city tax of five cents per plastic bag. Bowing to...
Pascagoula MS: A new luxurious waterfront hotel opened here today. This tourist destination is both a hotel and a theme park. All of the 5,000 rooms are configured to resemble staterooms aboard a cruise ship and the room rates include at sea entertai...
Heaven: Dick and Jane arrived here today after a very bizarre accident took their lives. A rabid environmentalist was fitting a Methane gas suppressor to a cow's posterior surface, when the device exploded. The environmentalist was covered in cow flo...
Montpelier VT: The Vermont State Legislature has overwhelmingly passed a law petitioning the Federal Government for a second US House of Representatives seat. The legislators felt that the State of Utah doesn't need another US House Representative, a...
Washington DC: What would life be like in the USA if the foibles of 20th century government agencies and activists, who purport to know everything and want their dictates to be the only game in town, prevailed? Robert Fulton, steam boat Clermont (1807): A PETA spokesperson said "too many Sea Kittens (fish) would be hit on the head by the paddle wheel when employing this means for moving goods.
Moscow, Russian Federation: On a flight from Washington DC to Paris, Dr. Pita Belini of the Russian Academy of Sciences was seated next to Professor Kartoffel Kopf of the Dusseldorf School of Linguistics. Dr. Belini and Dr. Kopf struck up a conve...
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