Sunday, 1 March 2009

image for US History, if Technology Developments were Controlled by Government Agencies and Environmental Activists

Washington DC: What would life be like in the USA if the foibles of 20th century government agencies and activists, who purport to know everything and want their dictates to be the only game in town, prevailed?

Robert Fulton, steam boat Clermont (1807): A PETA spokesperson said "too many Sea Kittens (fish) would be hit on the head by the paddle wheel when employing this means for moving goods."

Peter Cooper, Baltimore and Ohio Railroad engine the Tom Thumb (1830): An EPA spokes person said "this machine for moving people makes too much smoke, sparks and causes noise pollution."

Colonel Edwin Drake, the first oil well ever drilled in northwestern Pennsylvania (1859): A Siesta Society spokesperson said "it will take 10 years before any oil will be available."

Orville and Wilbur Wright, the first powered flight airplane (1903): A Green Pieces spokesperson said "it can't carry passengers and might run into some geese someday!"

Henry Ford, production automobiles, the Model T Tin Lizzie (1908): An OSHA spokesperson said "workers could hurt themselves because the safety white lines are 2" narrower than the requirement."

Robert Hutchings Goddard, rocket/space pioneer, launched the world's first liquid-fueled rocket (1926): An Environmental Defense Fiend spokesperson said "rockets will litter outer space with too many non recyclables."

Hoover/Boulder Dam, constructed to bring needed water and power to the Southwest (1930's): A Biological Dunsity spokesperson said "this project will interfere with the habitat of the western fledermaus as well as the rocky mountain pissant."

Eisenhower Interstate Highway System, the largest highway system in the world (1956): A spokesperson for Al Gore said "this highway system was a bad idea as my state's largest employer KFC lost a lot of local restaurant business! OOPs."

Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, the Personal Computer (1976): A US Patent Office spokesperson said "why anyone would want a computer in their home and if they had such a machine what would it be used for?"

Engineers and Scientists developing new green technologies for making fuel out of Carbon Dioxide (CO2), the so called "green house" gas (2009): A Natural Soused Defense Council spokesperson said" "we would prefer to bury the CO2." Additionally he said 'we are going to kick your ass by taking away your polluting soft three ply toilet paper."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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