Heaven: Dick and Jane arrived here today after a very bizarre accident took their lives. A rabid environmentalist was fitting a Methane gas suppressor to a cow's posterior surface, when the device exploded. The environmentalist was covered in cow flop, smelled and crazy as usual, but otherwise unscathed.
The Angel Gabriel welcomed the couple, who by now knew they were in Heaven. The angel had a few questions about their past life before he would allow Dick and Jane to walk though the Pearly Gates.
The couple answered by indicating that they had been married for 50 years, operated a moderate size dairy farm in Nebraska, had a small mortgage on their ranch home, little credit card debt, put their three children though college, drove 10 year old cars/trucks, were modestly invested in IRA's and were planning to retire prior to their demise. They were proud of the fact that when they did borrow money from a bank; it was paid back in full with interest and they always paid their taxes on time.
Gabriel was taken by surprise and wondered if the couple knew that President Obama's Stimulus Package allowed some people to avoid doing what they had just described. He said "since you arrived, not of your own volition you may go back to earth for a time." Dick and Jane asked "if they could go home?" The angel said "no only to France, but you can take your dog Spot with you." Dick and Jane said" why would we want to go to the other place?"
