Thursday, 26 March 2009

image for Obama Administration Proposes New Senior Health Plan to Reduce Entitlements
"Please Pass The Fried Chicken"

Washington DC: President Obama's latest press conference did not address reductions in Federal entitlement programs such as Social Security and Medicare. This omission was rectified a few hours later when the president's press secretary issued a statement saying "the new health program initiative in the FY 2010 Budget would provide some relief."

Entitlement reduction is accomplished via an updated health plan for seniors, as part of the new overall health initiative. AARP and various senior's organizations have long complained that seniors do not get enough nutritional food each day. To alleviate this situation the Obama Administration has initially diverted $500 billion from Medicare and Social Security into the budget to provide food for seniors.

Studies have shown that heart attacks/strokes are the highest cause of fatalities in the senior population. The $500 billion will provide red meat, pepperoni pizzas, ice cream, bacon, spare ribs, pot roast, meat loaf, cheddar cheese, potato chips and other like items to senior meal programs. Additionally, no more senior exercise programs will be funded by the Federal government.

Retirement will be made mandatory at age 65, such that anyone over 65 years old is considered a senior, causing job creation to occur. Medicare and Social Security benefits will not be cut, but seniors must agree to partake in the senior meal program and not indulge in any exercise activities. Between meals snacking in fast food restaurants is also encouraged.

Another statement was issued by the White House stating that "the reduction in entitlements such as Medicare and Social Security won't happen overnight, as the plan will take several years to show results."

An AARP spokesperson said "sonny we object to the president's senior health plan, since this would cause a decrease in our organization's membership."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Barack Obama, Health

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