Los Angeles - (Arson Mess): Grandiose plans to bury Michael Jackson's corpse next to notorious Hollywood outdoor lavatory attendant 'W C' Fields lie in ruins this weekend. Joe and Katherine Jackson had earmarked the vacant Forest Lawn cemetery plo...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA After seeming to have fallen off of the face of the earth during Michael Jackson's autopsy, the missing prosthetic nose has finally resurfaced; apparently, it was vacationing in the Caribbean in an attempt to clear up some long s...
Recently deceased (or is he?) Michael Jackson's extended family have requested the public for assistance in keeping Michael's story alive. "Let us hear your conspiracy theories about how the IRA did away with Michael" pleads his bereft father at t...
There was widespread pandemonium on the internet auction site eBay today, after it was revealed that Katherine Jackson, the mother of the now-dead King of Pop, Michael Jackson - WACKO JACKO - had put his children up for sale. Jackson died of a hea...
CHICAGO, IL, USA Chaos erupted on the set of the "Jerry Springer Show" today when guests and former lovers who prefer to be called "Mariah" and "Marshall" took their disagreement to the physical level, as is frequently the case on "Springer". Duri...
Police were bombarded with thousands of phone calls, and e-mails by those claiming to know the whereabouts of Micheal Jackson's body. One such unidentified source called authorities with a tip that lead police to the missing body of Micheal Jacks...
Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): A heady cocktail of whorse-doping agent ketamine, the ultra-short acting barbityrate sodium thiopental, popular Bel Air paralytic pancuronium bromide and a maintenance dose of potassium chloride has been found by Michael Jac...
London - (Reuterus): Just hours before his death Michael Jackson phoned Mohammed Al Fayed to say he'd missed a period and was pregnant with Dodi's baby. The Harrabs boss's statement today confirmed what everyone had long suspected, anyway, but ha...
A poll by federal drug officials shows abuse of the powerful anesthetic propofol rising dramatically among Michael Jackson enthusiasts. The "King of Pop" died after having a live-in, $150,000-a-month cardiologist pop the dangerous medication int...
The custody battle for Michael Jackson's children is over, and the three of them, Michael I, Michael II and Michaela I are said to be extremely happy. It was confirmed today that the three children are off to an animal park in Carolina to be looke...
BOSTON - The newly commissioned state-of-the-art United States naval aircraft carrier The USS Michael Jackson has set sail from its home port of Boston towards the Pacific Ocean waters off of the coast of North Korea. At first the Department of th...
Preliminary counts indicate Michael Jackson will most likely be crowned the King of Prescriptions, according to an attorney in the case surrounding the singer's death. Omar Arnold is one of 19,458 aliases listed in the warrant used by the LAPD and...
It was finally settled today, after a long meeting between Michael Jackson's mother and the mother of two of Jackson's kids yesterday that Michael's mother would take custody, that the family has decided that Jackson Hole, Wyoming was the perfect pla...
It is beyond the realms of the wildest conspiracy theory, but the shocking truth about Michael Jackson's untimely demise has now been revealed. According to sources close to the Pentagon, Jackson was murdered by a joint British and US intelligence...
Michael Jackson's kids will be growing up as Jacksons according to a press release this morning. The mother of two of Jackson's kids has agreed that Katherine Jackson, their grandmother, will have full custody of all three of Michael's children an...
Texarse - (Ass Mess): The Crawford branch of First Moneylaundering Bank of Skull 'N' Bones Embezzlers had to be evacuated this morning following a Zyklon-B moment in its aircon plantroom. Dozens of bank customers began retching and puking after d...
LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Way back when Michael Jackson anointed himself "King of Pop" over two decades ago, his declaration was controversial. At the time he had just become a world sensation with record-setting sales of "Thriller" but people seem to fo...
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