In a recent magazine interview, former Spice Girl Victoria ("Posh") Beckham admitted that, since having her breast implants removed, she has "lost quite a bit" of her "allure" and her husband, David, has filed for divorce. In addition, she was dro...
The X-Men's Professor X, Dame (formerly Sir) Patricia (formerly Patrick) Stewart, has undergone a sex change, following the (at-the-time) false report in the United Kingdom's premiere newspaper, The Guardian, that the former actor is "a post-operativ...
As if the homophobic rants of its spokesman, Alec Baldwin, weren't enough bad publicity for Capital Card, its new terms dictate that representatives of the credit card company can visit or contact debtors "in any manner we choose," including paying p...
Although there is no evidence in the forty-nine other states (or, as yet, even in Washington, D. C.) that drinking soft drinks could be hazardous to consumers' heath, California, The Land of Nuts and Fruits, will require Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and other s...
SEDALIA, MO --- Determined to set race relations as far back as possible, President Barack Obama appeared at a rodeo in Sedalia, Missouri, disguised as a clown. He said he appeared in "disguise" to protest critics' portrayal of him as an incompete...
MSNBC's version of Fox News' typical blonde bombshell reporters, Andrea Mitchell pretends to be the network's chief foreign affairs correspondent, reporting upon the sexual infidelities of foreign heads of state. She also hosts Andrea Mitchell Reports, on which she repeats gossip concerning the adulterous pursuits of U. S. politicians, unless they are members of the Democratic Party. To show th...
To show that he believed in "giving back" even before he had anything to give back, MSNBC's Chris Matthews went to Africa as a recent college graduate to serve on the Peace Corps. Then, to avoid work, he got on the public dole immediately upon his return stateside, working as an aide in the U. S. Senate. Because he had a way with words, if not with women, Matthews became a speechwriter, scripting...
Perhaps the pimple-face adolescent boys who moved their lips as they read the simple text and gazed at the colorful (mostly green) drawings didn't suspect, but anyone who'd ever read a story featuring the Caped Crusader and his sidekick, the Boy Wonder, would understand, at once, that the comic book hero Green Arrow and his assistant Speedy were obvious knockoffs of Batman and Robin. While the...
Wyatt Earp was a sometimes-lawman, sometimes-outlaw who sometimes owned a saloon and occasionally dealt cards or shot buffalo, depending on the economy and job market of the Territory (Indiana, Kansas, Nevada, Alaska, California) in which the itinerant jack of all trades happened to hang his hat on any given day. He went by a number of aliases, including Randolph Scott, Errol Flynn, Jimmy Stewa...
For women, accessories relate to dress and include such items as bows, tiaras, necklaces, bracelets, pins, rings, anklets, purses, shoes, and men with thick wallets. For men, accessories relate to vehicles, and include hubcaps, rims, wheels, racing stripes, cabin-mounted rifle racks, decals, and truck balls. Although men accessorize both cars and trucks, the latter are often decorated with raci...
Dean R. Koontz, known (by colleague and competitor Stephen King) as "the Stephen King of the West Coast," dissociates himself with horror, saying, "To be a horror writer, one must be a horrible writer." He is not to be confused with his fictional alter ego, horror writer Dean Koontz. Koontz was born in Pennsylvania, under a host of pseudonyms, and conceived the plots of his first 33 novels whi...
Be Witched was a situation comedy, or sitcom (short for stupid idiots tune in comedies) starring Lizzy Montgummy as Sam Stevens. A bigamist (or, possibly, a polyandryist), Sam was a transvestite witch who, out of stupidity, renounced magic in favor of love. She had two husbands, both named Darren (or, sometimes, Dum Dum, Durwood, Dagwood, or Dingleberry), who, coincidentally, were both employed by...
Under the Obama administration, the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) plans to "track diversity" in America's neighborhoods; if a community appears to the feds to discriminate, its residents will be bussed to other locations to make r...
Get Maxwell Don Adams Smart, or Get Smart, as it was called for short, celebrated the U. S. Central Intelligence Agency. It starred Maxwell Don Adams Smart, an actual CIA agent who loved numbers, particularly 99. The series was designed to showcase the efficiency and sophistication of U. S. federal bureaucracies and to make Americans feel safe and happy to part with the millions of dollars in taxe...
Ronald McDonald, CEO of the international fast-food franchise and part-time clown, has become the target of a hate group--the restaurant chain's own franchisees! "The bastard's greed is unbelievable," Betty Crocker, of Ann Arbor, Michigan...
Most celebrities, most of the time, have nothing important or interesting to say, but, because they are famous (and rich), their every word is reported to the world. Unfortunately, they are usually misquoted, because their words are taken out of context, or so they say, and, when they are not being misquoted, they are misspeaking. No matter what they do or say, they claim that they are seldom, if...
Voyeurism is the pastime of spying on someone who is unaware of his or her presence. were the victim aware, he or she (usually, she) wouldn't be lolling around naked in the first place, especially in the presence, seen or unseen, of anyone else (unless she is also an exhibitionist). If the voyeur is hard up enough to ogle someone in secret and there is no one available to ogle, he will usually...
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