DETROIT, Michigan - With Detroit continuing to reel from job losses in the U.S. auto industry, President Obama decided to cut his losses and announced today that he is "finally giving up on Motor City," effectively signing its death warrant and decla...
'Ah wouldn't it be nice, for you to wow the English But they make it very clear, they've got no room for windbags They think you're quite boring, and no-one at all You're doin' their crust in, you're just such a bore, oh! Lazy Sunday afternoon, got no mind to worry Close their doors and laugh away Ah here we all are, loving our black humour Makes the Yankees cry, they have no sense of...
Moosecock, AK - Despite losing the presidential election, resigning as governor of Alaska, and being roundly criticized for her cheerfully ignorant demeanor, Sarah Palin refuses to do the one thing everybody wants her to do: just GO AWAY. When ask...
It is now being reported that Prez O'bama, under water boarding pressure from Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, is switching stories on the recent "underwear bomber" case. In a marked shift from all previous positions taken by the President, O'bam...
Today the new blockbusting American movie to end all movies opened, 'Gone With The Windbag', and this reviewer managed to steal a ticket to avoid paying to see it. The film is set in the American Civil War, and stars Clark Obama as Rhett Waffler and Vivienne Hitlereigh as Scarlette O'Harridan, and things start as Waffler decides to become an alternative President of America, leading the Deep So...
One thing all newspeople from print to CNN are agreed upon is that the names of terrorists are getting ridiculous and they have demanded shorter names or nicknames from the CIA and FBI. Yesterday it was reported on several Tv stations with a diffe...
I was right all along. Our President's surprising receipt of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize WAS a conpsiracy. And I am the first to be able to publish all the details. Read on... 1) Norway and Denmark are both part of Scandinavia, also know as 'the Nordic Countries.' Obama rhymes with Scandinavia, and Barack rhymes with Nordic. Sort of. Hey, it's my conspiracy theory! 2) Vikings were Norse (Scan...
A spokesman for a major energy producing Titan, speaking off the record, said that recent events in the Sporting World, have forced them to reconsider their idea to bring back a highly popular ad campaign with the slogan "Put a Tiger In Your Tank!"...
According to Moscow correspondent Earl "Pulitzer" Gray, the cafes and vodka martini bars are alive with the rumour that Vladimir Putin has pulled off the coup of the century by sweet talking America's "Innocent Abroad", Barry Obama, into giving up th...
Detroit - (Pie-in-the-Sky): Forensic DNA analysis of syringe bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab has thrown up a direct link to President Barack Obama. The 23 year-old 'Nigerian' had been spotted on police video footage talking to Obama in London dur...
Just a feeble day Waffle about skin and gays And then later go to where Cheney says Just a feeble day Fund animals in Israel Then act like an actor But don't say a thing Oh, it's such a feeble day I'm glad I spent it waffling spew Oh, such a feeble day You just keep me funding you Israel and Saudis too Just a feeble day Health care problems left alone Backhanders from Republic...
US President Barack Obama was today mysteriously turned into a porpoise. Thanks to a typographic error by a writer attempting to make fun of him sounding so pompous it's ridiculous - describing him as 'porpoise' - the writer's editor rewrote the a...
Rock icon Noel Gallagher travelled to Brussels today to press the case for singer songwriter Morrissey to become the first President of the European Union, and indications from around the continent last night suggested that his journey might not be i...
California Govenator Arnold Schwartzenegger, saying it was a last resort, said he was coming out of film retirement in a last ditch effort to save his state from bankruptcy. The 62 year old, citing the recent success of blockbuster 'Avatar', his sta...
As a tribute to the great American song writer Lou Reed, President Barack Obama today brought out his version of 'Walk On The Wild Side'. These are the lyrics: 'Barack came from Hawaii, USA Hitch-hiked his way to Illinois-ay Whitened his skin on the way, Put on an act to hint he was gay Hey Barry, take a walk on the bland side Hey Barry, take a walk on the dumb side Hillary came out fr...
A shocking international investigation into the collapsing Carbon Credit financial market has revealed that several prominent proponents of The Global Warming Crisis, lost their ass after the Copenhagen Convention was declared a massive Failure, not...
Fresh off the heels of a massive buyout of extortion minded Democratic Senators to pass his 2500 page health care bill, Obama directed his militant Blogging Arm to issue a video calling for the withholding of sex from anyone who opposed his policies!...
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