The saying "Curiosity killed the cat" was today put to rest as the autopsy of North Dakota cat Richard Hopkins was released today. "I've called this press conference today to announce that cat Richard Hopkins was killed by one fatal gunshot to th...
A Harlingen area cat who was just let in the house five minutes ago, already wants out according to a local man. "It defies any reasonable explanation", Christopher Baker said of the family's pet cat Mario on Monday. "He'll be sitting out on the b...
Third-rate Spoof writer Skoob1999 was today taken a little aback when the formidable Mrs Skoob marched into the house with a little rabbit. In a box. "What's that?" he asked incredulously. "It's a rabbit," Mrs Skoob announced. "What?" Skoob...
PORTLAND OR - According to my source, Mr. Watson, IBM (ittybitty machine corporation) has produced a computer program that is smarter than a cat. When they tested it using an IQ test, the cat failed completely, unable to even hold the pencil. The...
A cat called "Thatcher" died, it was his ninth life by the way, and has caused an uproar in the world of politics. The owner, Canadian transport minister, sent a text message to the Canadian Prime Minister confirming "Thatchers" death. Thinking it...
Midlothian, Texas - Caterack the Cat, believed to have been one of the oldest cats on Earth, died yesteday at an age of in cat years, 210. Cats being cats, she is believed to have been survived by 12,773,523 descendants. But a shocking discovery...
Langley, Virginia - In recently declassified documents, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, a dark chapter in America's nuclear history has been revealed. In the famous experiment of Dr. Erwin Schrodinger, he proposed a theory to help...
Strange, but true! I was at work today and had left the tailgate of my car up.When I came back about an hour later, and approached the back of the car this bloody cat launched itself onto the top of the dashboard and, back arched, started leaping and screeching, trying to get out through the windscreen. Why are animals so dumb? It leapt and screeched, and it screeched and leapt. Then it...
Denver, CO - According to my source, Mary Anibalcay, edible human food can be very good for your pet. Fa get about store-bought food, and just think "food" -- think human food . Tons of pet owners fear feeding felines, for example, anything but pe...
Reports are coming in that the mighty US state of West 'By God' Virginia, immortalised in the cheesy pop classic 'Take Me Home Country Road' by Olivia Newton John appears to be reeling under an invasion of killer kittens. State Governor, Tex Fitts...
The noted cat, Calvin Oscar, who has been seen going into the rooms of over 50 dying patients at a nursing home in Providence, Rhode Island two years ago, before he was adopted and taken home by a worker there, apparently appeared in the room of Mass...
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah - Dr. Elinefay of the Cat Reproduction Antithesis Program (CRAP) today announced that the nationwide problem of feral cat reproduction has been solved. A new feral cat trap has been deployed that has lead lined walls; and aspa...
Washington, D.C.-The federal government, citing enormous cost over-runs and mounting piles of paperwork, has quietly stopped funding "End-of-Life" counseling sessions for cats. The practice, begun in 1979 under the Carter Administration's Kitty-Care...
JENSEN BEACH, Florida - A 48-year-old Jensen Beach resident, Keith Griffin, was arrested and charged with 981 counts of possessing pornography. Jensen Beach police also found 47 million images on his computer and they said that about 46 million we...
A local cat, who is noted as a music 'connoisseur', has been talking about its love of the band Cream. The animal has a vast collection of LP's dating back to the early 1920's but says that it really admires the work of the British band. Speak...
A scientist is at the centre of an ethical row of animal cruelty versus scientific discovery, following his attempts to test the old maxim: "There's more than one way to skin a cat". Barry Devers, 38, took it upon himself to go around the neighbou...
Cat opinion has changed dramatically in the Whiskas debate, with recent findings showing a massive reverse in popularity for the cat food Whiskas. Out of 100 cats surveyed, 90 of them said that they found the taste was 'too chewy' and 'uninspiring...
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