Death Cat Visited Ted Kennedy Just Before Death

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 11 September 2009

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Jack Ruby Nearly Trips Over Calvin Oscar

The noted cat, Calvin Oscar, who has been seen going into the rooms of over 50 dying patients at a nursing home in Providence, Rhode Island two years ago, before he was adopted and taken home by a worker there, apparently appeared in the room of Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy just before his death August 26th.

A friend of the Kennedy family stated that she was told that as the Senator lay there, he would reach up and rub his hand across an empty patch of air and say things like, "Well, Calvin Oscar, how are you my friend?"

The family member had told the friend that the cat was seen in the kitchen being stroked by Rosie Greer just before Bobby Kennedy was shot by Sirhan Sirhan. But, she stated, it couldn't have been alive way back then...but he's spotted when you see the film or it's another cat that looks like him...exactly like him.

Finally, the family member told our source to go back and view those film clips in the Oliver Stone movie and look at the grassy knoll and who's headed through the hedges with tail held high?"

When finally tracked down, the former employee of the nursing home who had taken the cat home with him, told reporters that the cat had mysteriously disappeared about a year before.

"Calvin Oscar just seemed to have a calling and one day he was gone", stated his former owner. "I lost twelve cousins and a Ford Mustang I had rebuilt during that year. I remember, the Mustang just began rusting overnight and then it began hemorrhaging oil and Calvin Oscar just sat there looking at it. By then, I knew it was over so I did some slight repairs and unloaded it on some sucker."

"Then he fixed it up and sold it to that actor, David Carradine, just before he stepped out in front of a bus in Jersey."

Update: In a recent photo a cat resembling Calvin Oscar is being stroked while lying in the arms of the Dalai Lama while in Tibet.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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