Reports confirmed today from inside the England camp that first choice goalkeeper David James has taken to dressing as blind motown legend Ray Charles to try and boost morale in their world class attack . James was overheard in this mornings worl...
After Wayne Rooney's rant at the TV cameras evidence shows the whole England team have a wager on who can say the most catch phrases on TV. We understand Rooney is in the lead after Friday when he was heard to say at the end of the game 'Nice to s...
The call to Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, to take over from Fabio Capello as England manager, because Capello is a foreigner who doesn't understand English ways, has not had a response. This intrepid reporter knows why! Arsene uses the word a...
Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney was said to be "in tears" after the team's disappointing 0-0 draw with Algeria on Friday night - a result that left England on the verge of expulsion from the World Cup. Rooney was upset by the bo...
The Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney shocked the whole of the football world this morning when it emerged that the England team coach, Fabio Capello, is his REAL DAD! Further details are unavailable, due, primarily, to the fact t...
The England fan who caused a security alert when he wandered into the team's dressing room after their goalless draw with Algeria at the World Cup says he was only looking for the toilet. Fan Pavlos Joseph, managed to evade heavy security by using...
England coach Fabio Capello has quit his post. The sensational news hit the airwaves this morning after a turbulent weekend at the England camp, at the end of a week which saw the national team held by the USA and Algeria, and the Italian is said...
England's former captain, John Terry, has made a strong start in the World Cup Heavyweight Contest between Fabio Capello, Mafia boss of England's team and himself. Round one was scored to Terry on points by the three referees, two were linesmen bu...
In a move that everyone was expecting; Tory Chancellor George Osborne has announced that he intends to scrap, the utterly pointless and overpaid regulator, the FSA. The FSA, or Financial Services Authority, was made notorious for utterly...
Yes, that's right, they're the England players. - Anyone who has been watching England's group matches will have to concede the team has not looked inspired or enthusiastic. Well all that is about to change. England have drafted in a new team of...
Insiders in the England camp tell us that the entire squad is unsettled, and growing increasingly frustrated with the iron discipline enforced by Fabio Capello. We were reliably informed that Peter Crouch is desperately missing the dulcet tones an...
England chieftain Fabio Capello has revealed his latest motivational ploy to kick-start his team's stuttering World Cup Campaign - he will shave his head and wear the hair as a beard for as long as England remain in the tournament. The (slap)head...
It is rumoured that the whole England 'squad' is boarding a plane headed for Toronto, before their next, all important game. They need to relax and are, therefore, headed for some well earned R & R at the home of 'Lady Godiva', who has invited...
The Algerians had a secret weapon. They employed local Zulu magicians or witchdoctors called Sangoma. The sangoma has to satisfy a demand for 'umuthi' (medicine) to prevent misfortune. In South Africa, all football teams have a sangoma who is take...
The England football team have expressed their wishes to be back home in England so they can catch the exciting knock out stages of the World Cup in South Africa. A number of England's big stars were disappointed when they were told they would hav...
George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, is preparing his emergency budget for next Wednesday. Following Britain's disastrous showing at the Eurovision song contest a double blow of England exiting from the World Cup in the first round and Mur...
England training Camp, South Africa: Embedded into the England team during the World Cup, our on the spot reporter, has been able to gain access to the latest Fabio Capello hard hitting Tommy Cooper jokes! On the training pitch has told the playe...
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