Father. Handyob of the Catholic Persecution Council said a man had been arrested in a dawn raid at a house in Derry. Catholic police were called after neighbours heard loud banging noises coming from the upstairs bedroom of the terraced house in O...
Bloomington, Minnesota, July 1, 2010 -- A huge convention of Catholic ex-priests descended on the Mall of America today for the purpose of paying special attention to the area's children. "It's only once per year that we get to play Santa for the...
Brussels - (Holy Shit!): First the Vatican Pension Fund lost 90% of its $$$s last week in the wake of the BP share price fiasco. Next, a huge Belgian police paedophile raid netted dozens of suspects and lead to a spectacular bust on St Rambouts Ca...
Many Christians are tossing around the idea that the vuvuzela has become one of the new seven deadly plagues mentioned by Pope John Paul II in a 2003 speech. In addition, they are blaming BP Oil for at least three other deadly plagues caused by the o...
It had to happen, a family member who chooses a life career totally opposite from that of her sibling because her sibling is just so over the top. Case in point, Lady Gaga (nee Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) has a sister who just graduated from...
Traditionally travelling in groups of three, always walking side by side and with arms often akimbo, Catholic Nuns will soon be offered their own specialty lanes for most any mode of transportation including walking paths, thanks to unrelenting pressure from San Diego Archdiocese leadership and the general public. Often seen in small automobiles travelling in the far left lane at speeds well un...
After the many recent scandals involving the Roman Catholic church and sex, there was only a muffled silence this morning when it was announced that a Catholic priest had been found who was 'completely normal' . The priest, identified from thousan...
At least 10 people have been paedophiled after Catholic Priests have stormed a convoy of ships that were carrying condoms to the Gaza Strip. At least 10 people were paedophiled. Vatican spokesman, Tarcisio Cardinal Bertone, told the Today program...
In a desperate final attempt to save the Catholic church from the wrath of God, the Pope has travelled to Portugal and amidst thousands of his dumb, blind, ignorant, docile followers has asked Fatima for guidance. The Pope realises that there are...
Pope Benedict XVI has announced plans for a final solution in his bid to purify the Church. In a radical move, the Pope plans to gas all members of the clergy who are found guilty of being paedophiles. "Zis ist der final solution, ja? But it worke...
A leaked Vatican email has left Foreign Office officials incensed after suggesting that the Pope should flip his second home whilst on a visit to Britain, the Daily Torygraph revealed today. Called "The Ideal Visit", the document was believed to b...
Pope Benedict XVI has attacked the Foreign Office as an "outdated institution, with ideas belonging to the middle ages". The news comes ahead of the Pope's visit to the UK, where he will promote his own brand of condoms. 'Vatican Gold' are advertised...
In a startling report uncovered after more than a decade of being denied, the Vatican was forced to admit to unprecedented sexual abuse of Nuns by Priests in 23 countries. Cynics say the tardy release of the report is a response by the church to c...
It just doesn't seem right. OK, this writer is not a Catholic and maybe doesn't totally understand the word of 'penance'. It seems to me that when Catholics go to Confession they are given a 'penance' by the priest listening to their confession. If the pennance is completed then they are 'forgiven their sins'. Oh great! I want to be a Catholic....... Surely the Pope does NOT believe this...
The media world is in a frenzy after secret Vatican documents were discovered that appeared to show Pope Benedict XVI was chosen specifically to 'take the rap' for church excesses in recent decades. "Given Joseph Ratzinger's advanced age and his e...
British Catholic Leaders yesterday expressed their pique at the suggestion by The Pope's Number Two man, Cardinal Torquemada Biscuitone that paedophiles are gay. Cardinal Biscuitone - looking edible, if a little jowly for my tastes (can't say that...
Pope Benedict XVI shocked the world today when he said that Catholics had to 'do penance' for the sins of the church. "Obviously, I'm the Pope so I've already got my free pass into heaven. You lot on the other hand are going to have to start cover...
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