Vuvuzelas and BP Oil Blamed for At Least Four of the New Deadly Plagues

Funny story written by Charpa93

Friday, 25 June 2010

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Nuns Gather to Hear Pope John Paul II Speak about Deadly Plagues

Many Christians are tossing around the idea that the vuvuzela has become one of the new seven deadly plagues mentioned by Pope John Paul II in a 2003 speech. In addition, they are blaming BP Oil for at least three other deadly plagues caused by the oil spill in the gulf.

Father Phillip Lessermore of the Catholic Diocese claims that several recent world events are mirroring comments made by Pope John Paul II in a 2003 speech in which he set forth his belief that seven new deadly plagues are upon the earth and naming them each.

Among the more chilling predictions was this statement, "A great noise will come out of Africa," said the Pope. "It will drive humankind mad causing them to turn on their fellow man." He was, of course, speaking of the vuvuzelas.

In another part of the speech, Pope John Paul II was directly referring to oil when he said "Countries who were once allies will rise up against each other over spilt milk," a term he often used when speaking of oil. "And the black milk will rain down upon the land causing many slip and fall accidents of which there will be multiplicitous lawsuits," again two more deadly plagues clearly identifiable in his speech.

The fourth deadly plague concerns robots. "And mechanical men will become as ordinary men making the same mistakes, leading to more disaster until all the waters of the world turn black." Of course, the late Pope was referring to the recent accident whereby a robot arm accidentally knocked the cap off the oil vent, allowing millions of gallons of oil to once again spill into the Gulf.

While there was no mention in the speech about lightning or fish raining down on the earth, it is interesting to note that in addition to the oil rains, a freakish lightning bolt did strike the tanker that was collecting the oil from the gushing well, and Hungary was the site of recent violent weather where fish were said to have rained out of the heavens.

This leads some to believe that the late Pope was not made privy to additional plagues that may come our way. The Catholics are keeping a close eye on the heavens for further developments.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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