What can we do when we suffer from "writers' block"? Well there are a number of things: 1. Take a day or two off and don't worry about it. 2. Sit stubbornly staring at a blank screen driving yourself crazy. 3. Read a newspaper article and re-type it changing names, verbs and adjectives, adding a few words of your own when it seems appropriate to do so. I have "writer's block" today...
Six months after the Golden Shower Chinese Restaurant in Shanklin shut its doors after the food standards agency moved in, it is set to re-open. The original accusations levelled at the restaurant, which will also do take-out after the re-launch,...
Ryde - Isle Of Wight - After tea - Following a deluge of thirteen complaints from island residents, council leader Jay Arthur successfully passed a motion demanding that the book, The Big Boy's Book Of Wanking be immediately removed from the island's...
Ryde - Isle Of Wight - Noon - It's just been confirmed that Ryde resident, Ken Worthington was intoxicated when he stumbled and fell down a hole, which had been dug earlier in the day by some workmen. Sources informed us that Mr Worthington drank...
Katherine Cattermole, 82, of Ventnor, is in hot water today over her cats. Katherine currently has one hundred and fifty-seven cats, but it is not the number of cats that has caused the issue, as the RSPCA, the Ryde Society for the Possession of C...
OUR WEEKLY SELECTION FROM THE FORUMS AT allwight.web allwight.com-forums>visiting>our towns>what our towns have to offer NO POSTS IN THIS DISCUSSION please register to post on the forums allwight.web-forums>living>local issues>preserve are heritiges! WIGHT HERATAGE PRESIRVATION posted 26 Jan 2007: Has you of recently taken a jerney through are ILAND? Can you'v hav...
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Ryde - Isle Of Wight - Police detective and one-time pirate, Doctor Victor Nicholas, along with his trusty sidekick, Inspector Morse, today revealed that they were conducting exhaustive investigations into an incident in which a hanging basket was va...
Yarmouth on Sunday was the hottest place in the UK, with temperatures soaring up to a slightly uncomfortable thirty three degrees centigrade (ninety-one Fahrenheit). With it being a weekend, the beach at Yarmouth was jammed with sun seekers soaking up the rays. With temperatures hitting the giddy heights, it was hotter than Grease and Athens in the shade, where temperatures only reached a paltr...
Residents of Ryde are devastated ahead of the new crown green bowling season starting in three weeks with the news that the Esplanade bowling greens have been trashed overnight. "I came in this morning," said greens keeper, Geoffrey Hardhat, 76 of Ryde. "It looks like somebody has driven a JCB across the turf, and filled in the ruts with dog mess. It's ruined, there's no way I can get it fixed...
Isle of Wight police chief, Tony Hipshoulder, wants to clamp down on what he terms a "modern plague on our beautiful island". "Over the past few years," said Hipshoulder, "we have been getting an increase in the number of reports of young people tearing along the A3054 between Yarmouth and Newport. Although the speed limit on this road is sixty miles an hour, Shalfleet has a thirty mile an hour...
Ryde police detective Doctor Victor Nicholas (he moonlights as a proctologist and pirate sometimes, juggling three disparate careers) this morning issued a warning to Ryde residents not to leave their bicycles unattended, following the temporary theft of a bicycle from outside the Oasis Bar, Grill And Steakhouse on Ryde Esplanade in the early hours. Local man, Stag Bullwinkle, who had been watc...
Newby, now has two sets of traffic lights. The residents were extremely excited when the first set was 'erected'. Now they are 'over the moon'. The first set was 'erected' in 1969 and a street party was held. Ribbons were tied to them and children danced around them like they dance around a May pole. Traffic was held up for 45 minutes. The first set is to be found at the North end of the...
It's that time again on the Isle of Wight for the residents to send in their pictures of summer. These can be any pictures that the reader feels represents a typical Isle of Wight summer. Last year's winner, Mrs Edith Whippersnapper of Newport, sent in a picture of the ferry capsizing in Yarmouth, something that summed summer of 2009 up for most of us, and was a deserved winner. This year, w...
The residents of Newby, have at last got their wish. The vicar is to be replaced following a recent scandal involving little Billy Murray, winner of the recent Marrow Growing Competition (see related story). Little Billy, who had bravely wrestled the vicar from the gripping tentacles of Paul the psychic lobster, who'd grabbed the vicar as he was about to bestow a Holy Blessing on him, came for...
Tourists are indeed flocking to the Isle of Wight as a result of reading recent articles in the Spoof. Indeed, hotels are quickly building on additional rooms to keep up with the demand. Some are pitching posh tents on their beautifully manicured lawns to take the 'overflow' of tourists. Ryde Castle has rooms for as little as $133 per night (I'm not sure whether this is America dollars, Cana...
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