Isle of Wight News - Phew What a Scorcher

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 12 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Phew What a Scorcher
Yarmouth beach may be great on a hot day with an ice cream from Jerry's Ice Cream Parlour, but the sun has hidden dangers

Yarmouth on Sunday was the hottest place in the UK, with temperatures soaring up to a slightly uncomfortable thirty three degrees centigrade (ninety-one Fahrenheit). With it being a weekend, the beach at Yarmouth was jammed with sun seekers soaking up the rays.

With temperatures hitting the giddy heights, it was hotter than Grease and Athens in the shade, where temperatures only reached a paltry thirty-two degrees, and hotter than Gotthenburg, where it barely scraped into the twenties.

However, it is not all good news, and health care workers in Yarmouth have been put on high alert.

"Such scorching temperatures are not good for the older residents in Yarmouth," said health visitor, Jaundice Sallow, 33 of Norton. "We are quite worried about them, and urge family members to ensure that their elderly relatives are okay."

With summer temperatures set to go even higher over the next few weeks, Newport Health Authority are hurriedly putting together a leaflet for the elderly island residents to help them cope with the heat. Frank Hottie, 34, and resident physician in Yarmouth, 39, has been consulted in putting together a leaflet for the elderly on the island to help them cope with the heat.

His number one piece of advice is fairly simple, and he hopes that people will be able to follow it.

"Put simply," said Dr Frank Hottie, 29, "I advise that they take off their freaking cardigans!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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