Ryde - Isle Of Wight - Police detective and one-time pirate, Doctor Victor Nicholas, along with his trusty sidekick, Inspector Morse, today revealed that they were conducting exhaustive investigations into an incident in which a hanging basket was vandalised at some point last night.
The stony faced detectives addressed a sombre press conference in a function room of the Packham Inn on Ryde Esplanade, just yards away from where the earth shattering desecration took place.
Detective Doctor Victor Nicholas opened the conference by confirming that a hanging basket had indeed been vandalised, adding that the hanging basket in question was the property of the local council.
A grim looking Inspector Morse added:
"Somebody dumped a crumpled up beer can in the hanging basket. It was a thoughtless and malevolent act, probably perpetrated by some freak weirdo who is a bit sick in the head. The basket contained a quantity of soil and some jolly pretty flowers. When the crumpled beer can was removed, thankfully neither the flowers nor the soil had been damaged. We got off lightly this time, but it's obvious to seasoned investigators that the callous nature of the crime reveals that we may indeed have a dangerous sociopath in our midst."
Detective Doctor Victor Nicholas vowed that the evil perpetrator would be brought to justice, telling the IOWN:
"This evil perpetrator will be brought to justice. We will leave no stone or hanging basket unturned in our search. In the meantime we are advising residents to lock their doors and windows and stay off the streets, after teatime, or thereabouts. The last thing we want to do is instil a sense of fear into our fine, upstanding citizenry. But you can't be too careful when you have a sociopathic monster on the loose."
Anyone with any information regarding the sociopathic monster can call Ryde Police and ask to speak to Detective Doctor Nicholas or Inspector Morse. Calls will be monitored and may be used for training purposes.
More as we get it.