A genetic research group that enjoys playing god wants to bring back the dodo. And maybe some dinosaurs. And maybe Abe Lincoln. And maybe Donald Trump (he died, right? He didn’t? Oh, sorry, wrong news source.) A spokesperson named Shecky (not sure…
An exciting new discovery in cloning technology has been … discovered, ahem. Scientists love playing god, especially when working for Big money for Big corporations who demand Big results to make even more Big profits … They can clone a sheep in S…
It has been revealed that the world of television has moved on to its sixth clone of Josh Widdicombe. In related news, there have been 501 Piers Morgans, nine Kathryn Ryans and twelve Sara Pascoes. A television spokesman said 'These celebrities on...
At a London press conference, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr announced their plans to get the rock group back together and start touring again. The plans involve cloning John Lennon and George Harrison in a procedure costing an estimated 21 Billi...
President Donald Trump woke up groggy after a troubled sleep and muttered that he had a new super duper plan for building the biggest bestest superwall ever. The 72 year old serial sexual harasser went on to elaborate that stem cells from Hitler'...
After Mini Donald released emails implicating himself in the secret back channel pipeline of gravy from a certain fast food chain to Chris Christie's Govorner's mansion, White House aides have started a whisper campaign saying that Donald Jr. is not...
Donald Trump today has promised his base that should any of his cabinet members be found to be failing in their jobs, he would swiftly replace them. The person he has planned to nominate in place of what he called "losers" will be a clone of Donald T...
Worrying Elvis behaviour by North Korean Nutjob Kim Jong-un points to him being an escaped Elvis clone, according to leading conspiracy theorists. In 2002, clones were illegally made from a frozen Elvis wart by disgraced Dr. Abu Mengelazar. Six cl...
Republican geneticists have succeeded in their long term project to clone George W. Bush and Dick Cheney into a composite entity to enter into the 2016 Presidential elections. This modern Frankenstein, born in a petrie dish and reared in secret, has...
Dateline: NEW YORK--Tired of being accused of having stereotypical ideas of women and racial minorities, the gazillionaire Roderick Billington set about spending his vast fortune to perfect his conceptions. "I realized the essence of the problem...
A Canadian dentist has plans to clone the late Beatle, John Lennon after purchasing his tooth a couple of years ago for over $30,000. This was revealed recently during an episode of Dead Famous DNA on Channel 4 in England. Canadian dentist Dr.
London - "Looks like ET was planning on flooding the world with hundreds of General Petraeus lookalikes and Mitt Romney clones," the head of the UK Diplomatic Protection Racket Corps said today as the news broke, "we even found their original Paula...
Boston Red Sox and Liverpool FC owner John Henry today announced that the Boston Red Sox were teaming up with scientists from the University of Liverpool to clone George Herman 'Babe' Ruth to replace Bobby Valentine who was fired after the Sox failed...
The King of Rock'n'Roll, Elvis Aaron Presley, it set to make a shock comeback to the music scene thirty five years after his death. "We've just developed the technology to reconstitute a whole human being from just a puddle of preserved vomit," sa...
SAN DIEGO - Elvis may not be alive now, but if his band has their way, he will be rejoining them by 2014. According to Japanese scientist Yohounddoe Otatiem, a robot that will be indistinguishable from Elvis at a distance of 10 meters will be ready...
Amidst the media's speculation about presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney's choice for a running mate, it came as a major shock today when he announced his decision: Mitt Romney has chosen Mitt Romney. When asked what would happ...
Skoob was dead right, things had changed, the Gerbils were now everywhere and they were even bigger than before. One blocking our path up the stairs looked to be 800 stone. One turned towards us and it glared...right through my soul. "They've got so many now, you can't move a milli-second without one having it's nose up your ass," said J.O., standing right behind me, "They re-engineered them, n...
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