William Hague - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 24 December 2011

My assistants Julian and Lucien came in with my breakfast tray and nappies this morning, gave me presents of a Christmas massage, and stirred my loins, bless them.

Later, as my new security guard Tarquin was showing me his weapon, I thought of the Argentinian's recent threat to attack the Falklands again. I hope they don't, or we might have to send the troops in Eton punts and the Woolwich ferry!

Oh, did I just make a joke?