Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 1 April 2020

Hey Me,

I love you so much! You are so cool and everybody loves you. If I weren't me, I don't know what I would do. For example, if I were Tracy Morgan I would be mad because he's not as charming as me. Every movie I'm in makes it hugely successful, especially The Mummy. I think Top Gun 2 will be amongst my finest films yet. The doctor says I'm not crazy, so I have a clean bill of health in that area. Plus, I'm a scientologist so I am right and everyone else is wrong. Uh oh my pen is almost out of ink! No matter, I'm Tom Cruise and a scientologist so it won't run out. See it keeps writing, I have defied science because I'm you guessed it.....T....o....m.... mutha%$^#ing......Cruuuuise.

Bye Me,

Tom Cruise

P.S. I'm your biggest fan (cause I'm you!!!)