Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Friday, 5 May 2006

HOW DARE THEY! Can you believe that the CIA actually had the gall to say that I am not qualified to combat threats to the nation's security! I have been in not one, not two, but THREE "Mission: Impossible" films, AND I was a top navy pilot, AND I single-handedly fought off the alien menace, AND I was a skilled and deadly hit man in Los Angeles, AND I had the sheer guts to appear in that awful "puzzle movie" that didn't make any sense. I even have a my own medical license... oh, wait, never mind, I just thought I did for a while. But the principle still stands. I'll bet they're all agents of Xenu anyway.