Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 16 August 2009

I borrowed a gerbil from my buddy Richard Gere today (though I don't think he wants it back). This is going to be really fun tonight.

I'm gonna get that gerbil high on coke and shove it up Katie's ass. Then, I'm gonna get Katie high on coke and shove her up my ass (I had to let her out earlier to feed the baby).

After that, I'll jump up and down on the couch and insult a few people.

I can't wait.

I just hope that none of the strings break! Katie's string is a leash, of course, and those are usually pretty strong.