The Pope - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 1 May 2011

Dear diary,

What a glorious day, this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in It!.

Considering that Friday was a great event in history and seen all around the world by millions… Nay billions of people, I want to make today's beatification of Pope John Paul II into an even greater spectacle. I want to upstage the Protestant sector!

Although the royal wedding brought in over 1 million people to London, I expect over 1.5 million believers to see the remains of a new saint. Did have a bit of a problem though - when we exhumed the body of John Paul II we found that his body had disappeared - he must have been closer to Jesus than we had ever imagined!. How could we explain this to the masses?

In the early hours of Saturday morning, Cardinal Dominic and I took the body of someone else and placed it in the coffin so that everyone would presume that it was indeed John Paul II. To be a saint, one has to have performed 2 miracles; the first one was that he cured a nun of Parkinson's disease and now this. This has got to be one of the greatest miracles that as ever happened since Jesus - the problem lies in who is going to believe it?

Oh well… St Marks Square is already filling up and there must be over 1 million there, but there is still room for another 500,000 - any more takers?

Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more