The Pope - My Fake Diary

Monday, 24 August 2009

I think that I'll take another world tour and go somewhere like Hawaii. I've never been there before, but it's supposed to be really nice and sunny and have lots of beautiful girls. I've even been told that everyone gets leia'd when they arrive (no wonder all of the straight American priests, both of them, want to be assigned there).

I wonder if we have any kind of Pope robe that lets you catch some sun. Hell, my skin is so white and glaring right now that nobody would be able to tell if I had my robes on or not. I really need to catch some rays.

After Hawaii, maybe I could find somewhere to go with a big Catholic population. I just love it when thousands of people cheer my name and crowd the city streets to see me. It makes me feel like a rock star.

Hey, there's an idea! I can release a music video and command everyone in the church to buy it. Then I would be a rock star! I'd be the most famous rock star priest since Father Michael Jackson!