Simon Cowell - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 30 October 2011

Dear Diary,
I've just about had a bloody gutsful of the UK X-Factor panel, not only are they incapable of selecting any half decent retards-save that skinny gay geezer-they cannot even put up a half decent mock squabble without ballsing it up! As for that tosser Barlow, how dare he try to usurp my Mr Nasty title the shortarse little wanker I'm going to kick his ass when I get back!