Simon Cowell - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Dear Diary -

It is good to be back on television. I missed wearing my boring black T-shirts as the entertainment media refers to my shirts.

I have to say that in a strange sort of way I even missed Paula. Yes she can be one hell of a pill, but basically she means well and she has promised that she will behave and not revert to acting like the scatter-brained air head she was on our old show American Idol.

I really like Nicole Scherzinger. Goodness me the gal has got some fine looking hooters on her. And I love the way she comes into my dressing room and plays with my hair while I'm getting my fingernails manicured.

And L.A. Reid, well what can I say? He's kinda like Randy Jackson but without the boring as hell cliche line 'that was pitchy dawg.'

Simon Cowell