Simon Cowell - My Fake Diary

Monday, 14 November 2011

Dear Diary,
What a diabolical and monumental fuck up the UK X-Factor has become. Dear god almighty I might as well have recruited retards for judges based upon Barlow, Walsh and the bimbo's performances to date, wankers the lot of them! As for the bloody contestants, where on earth did they find this lot.....talk about a bunch of bloody no-hopers.
And Dermot O'leary, since when has this prick been able to dance and talk at the same time I ask myself?
I'd have been better off signing up Bruce Forsythe as compere, at least the old bastard can hold a show together and works cheap even if we do have the extra expense of buying him Tena pads.
Bollocks to this, I'm off home to have a wank over my Paula Abdul photo collection!