Sharon Osborne - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 6 July 2013

"My dear old mum would be awfully bloody proud. I finally put me'old eccentric genius husband in his proper place and told him Black Sabbath was bloody well good, but this bird is having a bloody white sabbath as a celebrity, too. Ozzy is babbling in the other room about something that happened before a concert more than 30 years ago. Something about being attacked by bats and electrocuted because some bloody dumb roadie crew didn't hook up the sound system correctly. He's delusional at best, bat-shit crazy at worst. I could care less what that stringy haired bloke says these days. And I now need to hire a translator just to understand him. Someone who understands drooling mumblings and hyper-charged gibberish. I'd divorce his very English ass, but I guess I still love him too much. Love is blind, 'tis true, but 'tis also deaf and dumb."