Sharon Osborne - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Ozzy's been trashing the kitchen for years - breaking stuff and walking into cupboards (literally). I assumed it was because of(a)his alcohol-related brain damage or(b)his spatial awareness problems.

Yesterday he tipped a pan of soup (cold) over the armadillo. Took him to get his eyes tested. Turns out the old geezer's blind as a bat but he refused point blank to wear specs.

I said - Ozzy, you can't see a damn thing! He said Shut it you interfering old slapper.

I love that man.

Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more