Sharon Osborne - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Ozzy's been trashing the kitchen for years - breaking stuff and walking into cupboards (literally). I assumed it was because of(a)his alcohol-related brain damage or(b)his spatial awareness problems.

Yesterday he tipped a pan of soup (cold) over the armadillo. Took him to get his eyes tested. Turns out the old geezer's blind as a bat but he refused point blank to wear specs.

I said - Ozzy, you can't see a damn thing! He said Shut it you interfering old slapper.

I love that man.