Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 21 December 2021

Bloody bastard hell!
Pesky unvacced elves
Reindeers with unshod hooves
Sleigh that doesn't move
Last night
While rehearsing the route
It got stuck in
A tram line groove
This isn't cool
Not cool
At all.
The reindeer get
Social distanc-ing
They hate me

And when off - job
They keep as far away
From me
As possible
Most days, I have to view
Their rear ends
Careering
Hither n yon
Oft do they trot
Sideways
Arseways
Any way
At all
To build a wall
Twixt them
And me
It's a Union Thing
They blacked balled
Tony
Their Arctic Rep
Re how
He allowed
The Elves to do
The pre Christmas Prep
When the deer
Wouldn't
Not enough straw
And smoke breaks
Out
So the Elves stepped in
And now
My gout
Is getting worse
Think I'll hire
A horse
Though they're highly
Strung
At least with them
The worst to cope with
Is their dung!!
Hohohohohoh!!