Ray Mears - My Fake Diary
Friday, 8 February 2008
The old song goes "This town aint big enough for the two of us!". Now there are three and that IS bad. BUT... I had a cunning plan; The letter I showed to Chiles was NOT the BBC one, it was the other from the Eskimo Environmentalists and simply blagged that they wanted to actually build a replica West Bromwich Allbion football stadium. Being a Brummy he can't really read!
He believed me and Oh Boy! I've never seen anyone work so hard.
Lucan and I would go back to UK. No one really knows what Lord Lucan looks like (excxept Lord Lucan himself) so he, being master of disguise could easily pass himself off as Chiles as long as he kept his mouth shut. He'd have to pretend he's got Polar Flu or something.
Scratchings were nice though.
Gave Chiles the Jaffa cakes - he is already hyper.Lucan sits onan ice block ant takes a snifter from his hip flask.
"What's that? Single Malt Whiskey?"
"No its Methylated spirits from the Container ship's broom cupboard"
"How are we going to get out of here?" I asked 'Lucky'Lucan
"Well it's too far to walk, the ship's still stuck in the ice, so i guess we'll have to catch the mail plane!"
"I don't know yet, but hey they don't call me lucky for nothing - chill out man, something'll turn up old boy!"