Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Dear Diary,

Had another dream last night about Diana.

She was sitting on the palace garden walls crying and crying and crying. One tried to go to her but she flicked one with a rubber band so one stayed where one was.

She kept wailing "Why? Why? I could have been queen, I could have been queen!"

Then she picked up a microphone and started singing.

That's when Freddy Mercury swung down from the trees and shouted "You could never be Queen, Diana!"

What does this mean?

Why on earth does one keep dreaming about Diana Ross? And why does she talk about being queen? Queen is a band not an individual singer! It doesn't make sense! And why does one keep waking up singing "Chain Reaction"?

One must speak to Palace Counsellor about these nightmares.


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