Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 9 April 2009

Dear Diary

Palace Counsellor said feelings about being ashamed and dirty after touching a mere mortal are perfectly normal within royalty.

She did, however, say the fact that my son, Prince Charles, still calls one "mummy" at the age of 59 was very abnormal.

She has asked one to come back tomorrow with Charlie, so we can get to the root of the problem. She thinks that it may be that Charles is a little sexually deprived, and it's nothing to worry about. One can't help but worry though, he is one's son, and the father of the future King of England.

One just wants to be normal.