Lindsay Lohan - My Fake Diary

Friday, 23 July 2010


My "Eff You" nail polish has worn off, but that prison tattoo my new girlfriend Bertha put on me just above my landing strip, isn't washing off. She tells me that I'm her special girl, and that she's looking forward to me dining at the "Y". I'm not sure what she meant by that, but whatever. As far as food goes, you would think that since this is California, like, the best place in the whole world to live, like, the food would be better, like. All they serve is starch.... Macaroni and Cheese, instant mashed potatoes, grits, white bread, and I mean not a single multi grain slice in the place. I think this 90 days can;t fly by fast enough. Frankly I need a drink, although my publicist tells me that I need to prepare my "I found God" speech and how I've realized the error of my ways. Whatever. That just means that I need to be more carefull about picking the clubs I go to. Maybe I'll just create my own nightclub, call it Lindsay's and then the only one who can throw me out is me! I'm so smart, I can't stand it.

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