Lindsay Lohan - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

I've been fitted for my new clothing for jail and have lots of designer outfits on the way. I'm glad that I made sure to take care of this before I went inside.

My problem now is the stupid bed.

They tell me that it is smaller than a twin size! I want a king; I need a king; I've got to have a king. Nothing less than a king will work for me.

It's also got to have a pillowtop mattress and memory foam and a sleep number system.

They tell me that I am going to get a mattress that other people have slept on and scratchy, cotton sheets with a miserable 100 thread count.

EWWWWW!

I'm also not even going to get a box spring?

This should qualify as inhumane treatment. Even those stupid Jews in the death camps probably had better beds than this.

Maybe I can take my own satin or silk sheets?