Justin Bieber - My Fake Diary
Saturday, 22 December 2012
Dear Diary -
Kidnappers do not scare me. I just want to say that I am not worried one bit. I've heard that a certain group of individuals want to kidnap me and take me down to Ecuador, where they would force me to perform at a dozen concerts and then they would demand that my mom pay a ransom of $18 million to have my kidnappers release me.
But what they don't know is that I can run real fast and I am also very versatile at karate, judo, and boomerang tossing.
Heck, I don't even know where Ecuador is. My manager told me that he thinks that it's in Africa and is located between Peru and New Zealand.
At any rate, I now carry a butter knife in my left sock just in case.
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