Justin Bieber - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Dear Diary -

Kidnappers do not scare me. I just want to say that I am not worried one bit. I've heard that a certain group of individuals want to kidnap me and take me down to Ecuador, where they would force me to perform at a dozen concerts and then they would demand that my mom pay a ransom of $18 million to have my kidnappers release me.

But what they don't know is that I can run real fast and I am also very versatile at karate, judo, and boomerang tossing.

Heck, I don't even know where Ecuador is. My manager told me that he thinks that it's in Africa and is located between Peru and New Zealand.

At any rate, I now carry a butter knife in my left sock just in case.

Justin Bieber