HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Dear Diary,

Damn it, the police have located the body of our last, utterly useless Au Pair, some foreign bint from Latvia who had no bloody idea how to make a decent pot of tea let alone fold my sheets properly. When I told the head Butler, Rupert, to get rid of her I assumed he would fire her, not bloody kill her orf....he knows by now that it's only the peasants we bag and bury......better get in touch with PR double quick so we can concoct a decent story like before.