HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Dear diary,
I'm sorry that I have not visited you recently, but just before Christmas I had some pain in my chest - it was excruciating! Before I knew it, I found myself in hospital. I don't know what the fuss is all about the NHS because I immediately had surgery on my heart and I must admit that I feel better - almost better than I did when dear Diana was tragically killed. Where are these waiting lists? I didn't have to wait!

However, it does make one think about one's own mortality and I know that I am not going to live forever. I just hope that I will be able to have enough strength to live through this year for Elizabeth's sake - after all it is our diamond jubilee - one doesn't believe it; 70 years! Seems like yesterday!

Talking about yesterday, they let me out of hospital so that I could bag a few brace of partridges, pheasants which will keep the kitchen staff at Buck house busy for a week or two. I must admit that I quite enjoyed my stay at the hospital even though many of the nurses had a "well tanned" complexion, along with the scent of curry. Oh well it's a sign of the times, I suppose?

Elizabeth did come to see me, along with all the grandchildren bearing gifts - I got loads of socks, handkerchiefs and at least four bottles - one of Drambuie, one of Bell's Scotch whiskey, one of Taylor's Port and one bottle of Lynx deodorant. The latter was a gift Prince Harry - he's always been a joker. He did tell me not to drink it but to put a bit under my arms. It doesn't half stink but now I have got hundreds of women following me - STRANGE!