HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Well I just cannot believe what Liz has just asked me to do. Stick a cork up my arse for the duration of Zara's wedding. What darned good that will do is beyond me.

If I fart - then I fart. If I fart with a cork up my arse it'll probably cause it to shoot out at great speed, tearing through my trousers and putting some little one's eye out.

She is just not thinking these days. I think some of her hats are a tad too tight.