Gordon Brown - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Saturday.

8:00 Got up could not see alarm clock so hit the wall instead. Alarm turned self off, tried to get dressed ended up wearing trousers on arms again.
8:10 helper arrives, nock over vase over trying to open door.
8:15 helper gives me breakfast
8:25 have wash without help
8:40 leave house to get bus to work
9:00 bus is late ask
9:15 bus arrives but I have left money at home, bus driver says I am a stupid person wasting his time
9:16 stranger pays for my bus fair
9:30 got of at the wrong stop again had to try and walk to work
9:35 get hit by car
9:36 car driver takes me to work
10:30 finally arrive at work remember it's Saturday and I don't need to be at work also discover by asking someone that I am in London.
11:00 after walking around trying to find were I am discover that I am at London Victoria station
11:05 police officer arrests me for jay walking across the middle of the road
11:10 police officer escorts me home
11:59 stop at service station
12:00 finally arrive at work
12:01 lunch
15:00 after having to much to drink I discover that its Saturday and I am in a weird London club telephone wife to find me
16:00 been sent to bed with no dinner for being caught in a gay club with Alistair darling

Why did I write this?