George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Friday, 1 April 2005

April 1st, 2005

Dear Diary:

I've just been fiddlin' around the Oval Office for the past few hours - I tried reading through all these damned reports but I just got bored- so I thought I'd take a crack at writing. It's not somethin' I've got to do too often since I've got a whole cabinet who does my thinkin' for me. I tried writing my own speech for the Terry Shiavo stuff but all I could come up with was: "Now, if you and I were laying in that bed all helpless like a sleeping puppy, would you want someone to take your feeding tube? Come on now, America. This is a Christian nation. Do unto others as they wouldn't do to you....oh no that's not it....do the stuff for other people that you want done to you....is that it?....ah hell, all I'm saying is: 'don't covet your neighbors feeding tube!"

Anyways, the Cabinet folks didn't think that would fly so we decided on the whole erring on the side of life thing. Nice wasn't it?

Oh! Gotta go. I've got these Friday afternoon classes on how to be an ordinary man, a man of the people, a right old cowboy! It's hard to know what it's like to be an ordinary fella when you've been rich all your life.

Sincerely,

George