George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 30 December 2008

8.00 Got up and bid good mornification to everyone

9.00 Down for breakfast. The folks thought it was in very poor taste when I said to the dog to "shoo" off my chair.

9.43 Full after that grand breakfast eatification. Might pop out to "Shoes R Us" for some new shoes, after Imelda Marcos has been 'round to pick the ones she wants from all my other cast-offs.

10.00 Had a nice post-Christmasification phone call from the British Prime Minister Gordon Cameron. He's a nice chap and thankfully his wife Cherry Clegg didn't come on the phone. I don't like accountants even though I believe she is a well-respected one. Great with accounting for unpaid train fares.

11.00 Barack and his kids are popping round to play on my new PlayStationarizer. I've this great new game called "I ran Iraq during my presidential Korea"

12.00 Baigels and Lox time. Fell over the occasional table. Sorry it wasn't an occasional cushion, as it would have helped avoid my bruising. I blame that Osama Bin Laidagen. Would bomb MFI, but they have bust themselves.

13.00 Must go down to Crates R Us to get boxes for packing. We're off next month. Some chappy is taking over the job. A close relative of my new friend Barack, so they say.

16.00 Off to the sales with Mrs Bush. Won't be buying any shoes, as I have plenty as Christmas presents from some nice Middle-Eastern journalists. Didn't get any though from Julian Mannion of the BBC. Or from that dreadful Ira Gurning woman.

18.00 Time for tea. Fish and chips to honour my very good friends the British. Although I'd rather have some French Fries than Chips.

19.00 oops. Broke my crayon so I'll have to..................