David Hasselhoff - My Fake Diary

Monday, 7 July 2003

It's absolutely beautiful out here in California! Kitt and I have gone on a bit of a road journey and we're soaking up the sun. Ah. I'm just in the car at the moment with the air-conditioning on. I'm talking out loud and Kitt is taking all this down.

Wooh-ah! It is hot out there, but I'm beginning to cool down. About 5 minutes ago there was a full cavalcade of lady motorcyclists came down this road. They stopped to ask directions but I could tell they stopped just to check me out. I have to say, I wasn't very nice to them though. I told them to go and take their crazy metal studded pants and get the hell away from me. I didn't have time to think up anything more creative, witty or damning.

I just don't have time for women at the moment - I'm too busy trying to stop Alex Devallier from taking over the world. Did I mention that before? Anyway, he's trying to take over the world, and I'd be a damn fool to have a woman around doing crazy bumbling things. That Devallier - such a scoundrel, but he'll get his comeuppance.

Oh, my English friend and I have decided we're going to sing "Grease Lightning" together - that's going to be our piece when we do the talent contest. I hope we win - I don't like not winning.

Kitt's just informed me that the lady bikers are back with large guns, so I'd better go take care of them.

Have a good time,

Michael Knight.