David Hasselhoff - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 18 May 2003

I've got a terrible pain in my neck. I had one too many beers last night at the Come On Inn, about five miles down the highway from here. Got in a brawl with some crazy redneck - he was in a hell of a state. I think he chucked up on his shirt or something, the boy smelt worse than a skunk-meat taco. Anyways, he and his friends decided that they didn't like my hair much (or some such shit) and said things about my date, whose name I have forgotten.

Anyway, the fight wasn't too bad. I took on four, the fifth simply ran away. Of course, Kitt trashed the place by coming to the rescue and basically destroying the whole front of the Inn. I got away though with only a stiff neck. And of course, the great thing about Kitt is that I don't have to worry about drinking and driving.

Having said that, the previous time I let Kitt drive me home when I'd been on a bender, we ended up parked outside Ralph Macchios house. The car's obsessed, I tell you! Poor Ralph. I explained everything to him and his live-in-lover, and he seemed pretty cool with it. We gave Kitt a bit of beating that night, just to teach him. It worked.

Ah, I'd better get back to work. My English friend's employed some new blonde to work on the car but I suspect her of stealing the electronics blue-prints.

See-ya!

The Hoff.