David Hasselhoff - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 1 May 2003

Hi there everyone!

It's Michael Knight here again. I feel very fortunate in lots of ways because, after all, I am something of a freak. When I woke up for the first time after my 'accident', I felt thoroughly relieved and grateful to the Knight Foundation for keeping my alive. But once I saw that they'd completely changed my face, I quickly got upset. I used to wear a mask for a while until people started to foil my plans.

However, now I have all the girls I want because of my cheeky smile and timeless 'fro, I'm very happy. One of my girls wants to marry me, but I just tell her the same thing I tell all of them: keep quiet. I'm a man of few words, really, but I know what I like. And I get what I want.

Nothing much has happened since my last diary entry. Sure, I've gained a couple of pounds, but that's because Devon's made me start working out. As a father figure, sure, Devon's okay. But I'd rather it be someone like George Foreman.

I've got to shoot, you all take care now.

Michael Knight.