David Hasselhoff - My Fake Diary
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
It was really great to be part of the Queen of Enger-lands Jubilee celebrations. I say great - it was an experience.
I thought I was being asked to sing at the big concert at Buck House on monday night along with Elton, Cliff, Cheryl and Gary. But on saturday night I was told to board a coach in South Wales and bussed down to London Bridge where we arrived at 3am sunday morning.
We were then told to sleep under the bridge for 4 hours, and in the morning we would steward between London and Tower Bridge for the Diamond Jubilee Paegent. After working a ten hour day, telling people where the nearest transport links were and cleaning up rubbish, we were taken back to South Wales and told I wouldn't be paid for the days work, but considered for a security role at the Olympics.
This is all Simon Cowells fault, sacking me from BGT, now I have to claim job seekers allowance and jump through all these hoops. On the plus side, I'm sure Pippa Middleton recognized me and waved from the boat.