David Cameron - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 26 September 2013

Can't understand why Ed Milliband is talking about energy prices. I said in April that I would personally look into the matter and I have. I had some nice lunches with the bosses who promised me that if they make record profits they will give the party a donation. All is as it should be.

I have to put on my fedora and long overcoat today as I need to meet with Mrs Brooks about my Conference Speech. Both Mr Murdoch and myself want her to write it for me but we can't be seen together in public. I can't even tell my fag Clegg or my wife where I am going, it's almost like having an affaire.

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