David Beckham - My Fake Diary

Friday, 12 September 2008

8.00 Got a busy day today. Found out Posh is pregnant again, and as usual we are going to call it after the place we did it like to make the baby. My dad said 'Stannah Stair Lift' is not a good name for a baby.

9.00 I'm in a new film today. Got to go to Boots to collect it like. Posh took it in to have it done yesterday. She took all the photos.

10.00 Finished me book today. Going into W H Smiffs to get a new one. Will try to get one like that needs real colouring pencils instead of crayons.

11.00 Must get back to the house to babysit. posh is meetig the girls to talk about not having another reunion. I said there was no need, even though we are down to our last 100 million quid. Can't stand that one, you know, common-as-sh*t-spice

12.00 Time for lunch. Once I get the instructions read out to me how to open the jar of Marmite I'll be able to have a right old scoff like

14.00 (does 14 come after 12?) Got to collect the son, whats-iz-name like from school. Everyone has been saying to him "Bend it like Beckham". I dunno what they mean like.

16.00 Fish fingers and chips all round tonight for supper. Hipp hip hooray henry!

18.00 Watched the Simpsons on telly. Like, dunno how the big yellow fella bumps into things and falls over without hurting himself.

21.00 Time for bed. Night Night.